IT TAKES TWO TO TANGO

 

"Loved you yesterday, love you still, always have, always will"

It started off as a pleasant morning. He was preppy and loving. We basked in the radiance of love. It was all kinds of good. He swept me off my feet with his overachieving imaginations . We were reaching for the clouds and there he way stretching out his hand ,lifting me into the heavens but I flew to high and it happened to quick. I was falling, he was reaching for me but thunder struck and we came crashing down...

I asked him for a date but his responses were riddled in rejections, his feelings conflicting mine. I felt dismissed, unheard and angry. "Why did he do that?" I asked myself. We had a good thing going.. why did he say "NO".... I'm sure he justified his responses but it was fuzzy.. All I could hear was a  ghastly echo "NO". It couldn't be unheard and forgiven, he hurt me and nothing justified that. What followed after were a series of accusations, criticism and unpresented spiteful venom. He had to take back those words and I had to... understand him. But why did I always have to do the understanding? why couldn't he see how much his rejection had pierced my heart? I knew he was disappointed about being unable to give me what I wanted too but I was more disappointed. I wanted to dress up and light a candle and have him shower his affection on me. Couldn't he see that? Couldn't he give into his girl and make her smile? I wish he got me flowers, sent me letters thru the mail, planned dates for us. Why couldn't he? I wasn't asking for diamonds, just a date. But he couldn't even make that happen? I fumed and spit venom after venom. He knew his rejection had hurt me and he tried to take his words back but the echoing dismission resonated , controlling me like an infested parasite and I had fury to unleash. Soon after we both bid sorrowful goodbyes. As the fury and the influence of rejection wore off? I realized that although he was to blame? I didn't  handle this any better. I could have mitigated this situation and altered the course with my reactions. I reflected on my actions and I felt conflicting perplexed emotions, could what I be feeling associated with guilt?...  But why would I be feeling that? he said NO because of personal familial issues , he ruined our morning but had I contributed to the situation too? As I let the conflicting stream of thoughts flow through my mind my conscious reached to a conclusion, my stomach churned, it takes two to tango...